


Freaky Fifth Day of the Spicolian Movement

by rainmonarch



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Body Swap AU, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainmonarch/pseuds/rainmonarch
Summary: “What the QUIZNAK,” he heard Keith’s voice yelp.“Keith, Keith, are you okay?” he asked. Pidge’s voice sounded alien coming from his own throat.“Yeah, I’m fine,” Hunk’s voice answered.Shiro heard his own voice crackle through the comm. “Was that me? Oh god, what’s going on?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote a body swap au headcanon list, and had a lot of requests to turn it into a fic, so here is a first chapter!

“Errghh!” Shiro groaned. Voltron was fighting several small battleships and a few of Haggar’s druid cronies – the ships hovered above the large robot, evading its reach like mosquitos in the summer. The druids stood in a circle beneath the fight, chanting faintly and waving their arms in synchronization. 

“Shiro, shouldn’t we go break up whatever magic they’re doing down there?” Hunk asked, scanning the ground for pods trying to sneak up on them. Pidge pulled the shield in front of Voltron’s face, blocking incoming fire.

“If we don’t focus all our attention on these fighters they’re going to find the chinks in our armor, Shiro,” she informed. She grunted as the enemy fire struck their shield. 

“We should try splitting up, the battleship they came from seems pretty far now – “A large blast of magic interrupted the strategy session. As the jolt of quintessence rushed through Voltron, the team realized that the druids had chosen for them. The Voltron Lions were blasted apart, each landing harshly on the grassy ground of the planet they were on. The paladins groaned while the small pods retrieved the druids, retreating quickly.

Shiro was the first to push off the daze. His lion lay on her stomach, a few football fields away from the other lions. She appeared to be offline. 

“Hey, is everyone – uh,” he began, startled by the sound of his own voice. He sounded like… Pidge? He quickly glanced down at his body, shocked to see her small frame and green armor. 

“What the  _ QUIZNAK, _ ” he heard Keith’s voice yelp. 

“Keith, Keith, are you okay?” he asked. Pidge’s voice sounded alien coming from his own throat. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Hunk’s voice answered. 

Shiro heard his own voice crackle through the comm. “Was that me? Oh god, what’s going on?”

Keith began yelling incoherently, something about himself? He heard Lance start rambling in a matter-of-fact tone, and it sounded like he – Shiro - was crying. Except he wasn’t, he was here, in Pidge’s body, trying to understand what the hell just happened. 

“Alright, everyone be quiet for a tick,” Shiro said. No one, besides whoever had Hunk’s voice, seemed to have heard. “Hey, team!” He said, a little more determined. No response. “GUYS, SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE.” 

The chatter died quickly. A voice mumbled, “…Pidge?”

“No, I’m Shiro,” he responded. He heard a nervous ramble start from Shiro’s voice. “Shh. Everybody calm down. Deep breaths, Hunk.”

He heard Shiro’s voice mutter a compliant sound, then quieted again. “I think that druid spell switched our bodies. I’m going to rollcall, so we can clear up who’s who,” he said. Thankfully, the younger paladins remained quiet. “Pidge?”

“Here,” Lance’s voice piped. Shiro took note. 

“Lance?”

“Here,” Keith’s voice cracked. Shiro smiled. He thought so.

“Keith?”

“Present,” Hunk’s voice grunted. Wow, that was a change. He had never heard Hunk sound so… husky?

“And Hunk.”

“I’m here,” Shiro’s voice bleated. 

“Okay. Everyone get that?” he asked. He was answered with a chorus of tentative ‘yes’s and ‘I think so’s. 

Allura’s voice rang through the comm. “Paladins, I suggest you return to the castle immediately, the Galra and druids are still out there,” she instructed.

“Hang on, Princess, my lion is offline,” Shiro said. He was followed by agreements from the other paladins. He could feel Black in the back of his mind, like always, but she felt like she was asleep. He mentally nudged her. As she activated, lighting up the consoles inside, he felt a confused purr. She showed him images of her now-green snout, and alarming lack of wings. He sent her comforting vibes, like she had done for him so many times before. He did his best to explain the predicament – soon she had relaxed and was prepared to lead her pride back to the castle. 

In the distance, he could see the other lions rising to take off. They flew to the castle silently under the confused and comforting purrs of their lions. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story Time with Coran!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol whoops guess i'll post twice in one night i'm just too excited about this (plus this chapter is much longer <3)

Lance was  _ pissed.  _ Out of all the other paladins, he had been put in KEITH’S body.  _ Keith.  _ That annoying little fuck who Lance couldn’t stand. Blue was snickering at him lightly, telling him that Red was laughing too. Some bond they had. What a traitor. Laughing with the enemy. Blue snorted.  _ Yeah, well maybe you should just find another paladin, Blue.  _ She rolled her eyes – how a giant, mechanized, magic lion does that, Lance could not say, but there was no doubt that she did.  _ You’re right, I love you. But lay off on the Keith jokes, I don’t want to have to think about this dumb mullet any more than I have to.  _ Blue snickered again.  _ Okay, time to get out of my head, lion.  _

That was right about the time the paladins reached the Castle of Lions. It was currently in orbit around the grassy planet, surveying for more Galra ships. Pidge – Shiro, actually – told them to go into their usual hangers, so no one got lost on their way back to the bridge. The castle halls were long, identical, and beyond confusing when one found themselves in an unfamiliar area of the ship. Lance exited Blue – who now resided in Red’s body – and headed towards the bridge. Blue sent a teasing image of the back of Lance’s head as he left, before slipping into sleep mode. Lance rolled his eyes, but ran a hand through the messy black hair. It was surprisingly soft. How was it even fair that Keith got to look good in such an awful hairstyle, and then dare for it to be  _ soft _ ? The answer is that it’s not fair. Not at all. 

He strolled into the main console room, finding a few of the paladins. Hunk sat in Keith’s chair – right, Keith was in Hunk’s body now – while Pidge (Shiro) and Lance (Pidge – god, that’s weird) stood with Allura at the helm. 

“Hey, princess,” Lance greeted with a signature wink. She turned, assessing the newcomer.

“Lance…?” she ventured.

“The one and only,” he grinned. She smiled, obviously quizzing herself on the new arrangements, then turned back to Pidge and Shiro (Lance and Pidge). Man, Lance already had a headache. Time for a distraction.

“Hey, Keith.” Keith (Hunk) watched Lance (Keith) warily. “So, now that your body is my body, I think that’s grounds to cut this awful hairstyle.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“What makes you so sure, he-who-soon-won’t-be-Mullet?”

“Because I can kick your ass ten ways to Friday, Lance, regardless of whose body is whose,” Keith said confidently. Lance considered. 

“When we swap back, I take you up on that challenge, Keith. I think – no, I  _ know _ I could beat you hand to hand,” Lance heard leave his mouth before he could stop it. Filter? What filter? Lance suffered through the consequences of his words _ like a man. _

“I call bullshit,” Keith deadpanned. “Why wait until we switch back? I could take you now, no problem – and you’ve got the advantage with my body.”

“Yeah, right, Hunk could totally take you. And besides, there’s no way I’m going to take a chance hurting my best friend’s body just because you’re stuck inside it.” 

“By your earlier logic, this is my body now.”

“Shut your quiznak, Keith.”

“I still don’t think you’re using that word correctly, Lance.” There was a limit, and Lance was approaching it.

“Why don’t you shove it up your - “

Hunk (Shiro) burst into the room, finally. “Sorry, sorry, we knocked Black’s – Yellow’s? – wings on the ceiling of the hangar trying to come in, I had to make sure she was working okay,” he explained breathlessly. 

“It’s okay, Hunk, we’re just explaining who’s who to Allura,” Pidge (Lance) said. Allura greeted Hunk cheerfully. Okay, Lance has got it now. Pidge is in his body. Shiro is in Pidge’s body. Keith is in Hunk’s body. Hunk is in Shiro’s body. He is in Keith’s body. He can remember that. 

“Yes...” she confirmed. Allura turned back to Shiro. “So, you say that the lions have switched bodies as well?”

Shiro pushed his glasses up his nose. “It seems that way, Princess. How is this going to affect our ability to form Voltron?”

“I’m not sure…” She held a hand up to her chin, gauging the problem. “Coran, can you remember anything like this happening before?”

Coran ambled away from his console to join the group. “’Fraid not, Princess. Although it does remind me of an old Altean fairy tale I used to tell you, where the family of Byx swapped minds?”

“Oh, yes, I do remember that story,” Allura smiled. She spaced out for a moment, lost in memory. The paladins exchanged glances. 

“So what I’m hearing is STORY TIME WITH CORAN,” Lance enthused, pulling the older Altean by the elbow towards the common room down the hall. Hunk followed behind, a grin spreading across his face. Keith and Pidge looked down to Shiro, who shrugged.

“Why not? Could be useful, could be relaxing.” He headed after the trio. Allura, Keith, and Pidge trailed him, figuring that yeah, a space bedtime story  _ is _ a good way to relax after a fight.  And besides that, Coran’s stories had begun to create a sense of normalcy for the paladins. Travelling all over the universe, never visiting Earth or Altea, the usual castle antics had become home for them. Normalcy was important for such an upset. 

This particular common room was similar to the one they rested in after training, with a horseshoe-shaped bench sunken into the floor. It was much more plush, though. The floor and benches were soft, like a La-Z-Boy or a bed, and storage boxes within the benches contained fleecy blankets and pillows. Coran told the paladins that the blankets were made of wool from the castle’s former herd of Royal Arathians. Lance imagined something like a sheep, or a very large chinchillas, but by Coran’s description Arathians are much more dangerous than a fluffy animal. 

Coran sat on the upper floor at the peak of the horseshoe, with his feet resting on the seat of the bench.  Lance began pulling the white pieces of his armor off.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked harshly. “You’re just gonna have to pick it up later.”

“Shush, Hun- Keith, I’m getting comfortable.” Lance said, continuing to remove the armor. Keith snorted.

“Hang on, Lance. Allura, before we get too involved, are you sure we won’t be caught off guard by the Galra?” Shiro asked. He stood at the open area of the horseshoe, looking back towards the corridor. 

“I think we will be fine,” she answered, settling into a seat. “I believe the Galra have accomplished their goal, there was nothing on the planet to defend. They retreated very quickly after Voltron was split apart.” Shiro nodded.

“A story it is!” Coran sat up straight, pointing at a square panel on the wall. “There’s the laundry hatch, if you’d like to remove the armor,” he said. “‘Bout time we had it cleaned, as well.” The paladins stripped their armor, leaving them in the relatively comfortable, wetsuit-like garments they wore underneath. The armor clanked as it tumbled down the laundry chute. 

“So, why is there a laundry chute in a living room?” Pidge asked, pulling a blanket out and adorning it like a poncho. Hunk sat on the floor, Lance to his right and Pidge to his left. 

Coran tugged on the breast of his jacket and held up a finger as he spoke. “Well, Number 5 - Number 3? Height order seems a poor method of ranking now - this room used to belong to the Great Duke and Duchess of Altea! They were in charge of various infrastructures in our area - “

“So it was a bedroom?” Hunk pulled back.

“Yes! Although it was more of a guest room, the Duke spent more time abroad - “

“Come on, Coran, we’re here for a story, not a history lesson,” Lance whined. He fell dramatically on Hunk’s shoulder. Coran chuckled. Keith dropped the last of his armor down the chute, then hopped inside the sunken bench. He moved to sit by Lance, but Shiro tugged on his arm. 

“Nope,” he said. “Don’t sit next to him.” When Keith made a loud sigh, he elaborated. “Damage control. You guys are  _ not  _ going to argue like kindergarteners and be rude to Coran. Sit over there,” Shiro explained. He gestured toward Pidge’s side of the horseshoe. Keith complied, not looking to start fights with Shiro _ or  _ Lance. He sat with his back against the bench, arms crossed, legs stretched out behind the three paladins. 

“Alright, cubs, everybody settled in?” Coran asked, scanning the young people below him. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge sat in a cuddly cluster near his feet, Keith reclined beside them, and Shiro and Allura sat on the bench behind the group. He rested a hand on his knee. “Many, many junctures ago, on a planet very far from here, lived a family of Byx,” he began. 

“Now, Byx are very unique creatures. Some say they were the first intelligent animals to evolve in our galaxy, or possibly in the whole universe - at any rate, they  _ were _ the first to harness quintessence for healing magic. They have large spots running down their backs that house their personal quintessence, and they would glow bright blue as the Byx healed their people. They used it very rarely, though, for it was considered sacred and only life and death situations called for the use of quintessence. 

“Of course, there was bound to be the occasional rebel within such an advanced species. A pair of sibling Byx did this one day. Their mother was the most successful healer in their tribe, so she built her hut adjacent to a natural spring of pure, raw quintessence. It bubbled forth from the ground, like the very source of life itself. Flowers, plants, small animals, they burst forth around this spring. The Byx siblings saw this life, and made the connection that quintessence was a form of energy - and therefore  _ power. _

“They began experimenting with the quintessence while their mother and father worked to heal ailments in the village. They brought animals from the brink of death, they forged weapons cooled in the spring, and they would bet on spars with their friends using the new weapons. As the abuse of quintessence continued, the young Byx spots began to glow pink rather than blue. Their parents noticed of course, and believed that their children were sick. They brought the young Byx to the fountain to be healed, but were shocked to find that their quintessence only grew pinker. While at the spring, their father found the Byx siblings’ stash of weapons, and realized what they had done. The young Byx were now _ banned _ from being anywhere near the spring.” Coran heard a lone, quiet gasp from the otherwise silent audience.

“This did not stop the young Byx siblings, however. They firmly believed that their methods of quintessence use were the future, and that quintessence could be harnessed for so much more than healing. They continued to experiment under the cover of darkness. Their weapons became less crude, they became more powerful, and they even learned how to perform magic with the quintessence. 

“Then, their parents caught them at the spring, completely by surprise. The young Byx were so startled by their parents’ approach that they involuntarily cast a spell with the quintessence. The family was blown apart by the raw energy, awaking only to find that they had switched bodies! Neither of the children could tell their parents how the spell was performed, so the family had to move forward pretending to be each other!

“The parents in their children’s bodies had no problems pretending to be children again, for they had been children before and could remember what it was like. However, the young Byx in their parent’s bodies had a much harder time adjusting. They did their best to imitate their parents, but soon the adult’s power went to their heads. One sibling, as the matriarch of the village, began to lead the way she and her brother planned while alone at the spring. They took over neighboring towns, created new ways to harness quintessence as energy, and became the leaders of a large empire within a few years. 

“Now, while the children were changing society, the parents bided their time and learned to use quintessence for magic, as their children had. The parents never used their magic to fight, however, and still used it for positive construction. They had soon learned to switch bodies at will with their magic, and planned an ambush for their children. 

“The children were surprisingly easy to trick, evidently the busy schedule of running an empire caused their guard to be let down. The parents brought them to the spring one evening, and quickly performed the spell to swap everyone back to the right bodies. The parents were now large enough again to overpower their children, and brought them back to the house. Guards were placed in front of the spring, and instructed to only let the now-Queen through to it. 

“The children were angry that their parents took away their access to magic, but also relieved to be rid of the stresses of leading a kingdom. They realized they had their whole lives to build the power they gained while in their parents’ bodies - in addition, they were also heirs to the throne they had created. The parents came away with a new understanding of the power the children felt at the fountain. They had realized that quintessence  _ could  _ be used for more than healing. They led their new empire wisely and gracefully. Magic became commonplace. The blue-glow of quintessence surrounded everything on their planet, and everyone lived peacefully. The end.” Coran clapped his hands together, leaning back. The paladins were quiet for a moment.

“So, the Byx, this spring, do you know what planet they could be on?” Keith asked, breaking the silence.

“It’s just a story; I doubt they’re on any particular planet. Why?” he answered.

“Because if that’s real, it could be the solution to our problem! The druids used quintessence for their magic, right? It must be the same thing!” Keith stood up quickly. “Come on, there must be a name or something.”

“Woah, Keith, calm down. If it’s just a fairy tale, there’s probably almost nothing that’s true,” Shiro said. 

“I don’t know, Shiro, I’m with Keith on this one. What Coran was describing sounds an awful lot like what happened to us today,” Lance backed. Keith looked to him in surprise. Pidge stood up too.

“We don’t really need to know the name, I think. BLIP-tech detects life energy, and Coran just told us that quintessence  _ was  _ life energy. I think I could combine and modify the BLIP-tech with our map of the known universe and detect where the largest sources of life came from. Theoretically, we would detect large amounts coming from balmeras, the Galra bases holding refined quintessence - which we already know the locations of, and wherever this spring is!” Pidge rambled, half-talking to herself. “Does that sound right to you, Allura?” The team looked to their Princess. She was sniffling, wiping tears from her eyes. 

“Allura?” Hunk rushed up to give her a hug. She embraced him tightly for a few moments, but quickly pulled herself together. The other paladins watched worriedly.

“I am alright, I just miss Altea…” She sniffed one more time. Hunk hugged her again. “Yes, Pidge, I think we could give that a shot. I can’t think of any other way to switch you back,” she answered. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go get started then!” Pidge declared. She started towards the door, Coran in hot pursuit (he had learned not to let Pidge modify  _ anything  _ without some adult supervision). 

“Wait,” Shiro commanded. “It’s getting late, we should probably clean up and get ready for dinner. Just because we’re in space doesn’t mean we should throw normal schedules out the window,” he smiled. He said it like they didn’t spend most days eating when they could and fighting Galra the remainder of their time. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Tell that to Keith-never-freaking-sleeps Kogane.” Keith elbowed him sharply. “Oww!” he complained. 

“Knock it off, you two. C’mon, change out of your suits and settle down for dinner.” Shiro led the rest out of the common room. 

“Anybody else feel really weird taking orders from Pidge - er, Pidge’s voice?” Hunk asked. 

Keith, Lance, and Pidge looked at him. “Yes.” they said. Shiro chuckled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into shiro's mind: stressed and worried about everyone but himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the next three chapters are just character dynamics that i really love. first up: shiro and allura.

Shiro was very offput being in Pidge’s body. He hadn’t been this small since he was, what, nine? Ten? Even though he had led the kids towards their bunk hallway, he found himself at the back of the group by the time they reached their doors. He almost had to trot to keep up with Pidge and Hunk’s long strides. He made a mental note to slow his steps for Pidge when they switched back.

Strangely, being a girl was not all that different than being a man. He still felt like himself, he still thought like he usually did - although it’s not like Pidge wasn’t a person, he just didn’t know what to expect. Her hair was longer than his, but he went through a phase of hair that length growing up, too. Her body was softer, but she also hadn’t been through the same rigorous battles he had in the past year or so. He ran his hand over her bare arms, surprised by how quickly he forgot smooth skin should feel. She had no scars from deep wounds or bad infections. She was still unscathed. And she had both her arms! His mind was almost overloaded with new replenished sensation from his right hand. His prosthetic was highly advanced, and did much more than one could do on Earth, but it was something different to have his arm again.

After considering for a moment, he decided that Pidge’s body was really more like a child’s than a woman’s - she was only fourteen, after all. She was still thin and rectangular, just like any kid would have been. Shiro showered quickly, averting his eyes as best he could. Pidge was like a little sister to him, he was going to invade as little of her privacy as possible. 

He changed into her day clothes after drying off. Her sweatshirt was loose and soft, and it felt wonderful after hours of wearing a skintight flight suit. Even his own day clothes were formfitting, he hadn’t worn anything loose since his rags from his time with the Galra - and those were not pleasant to wear at all. He recalled Lance’s robe and night clothes, and wondered where he found them. Surely he and everyone else on board ought to have them too. He would have to ask when he got the chance. He exited Pidge’s room, heading towards the observation deck. He knew Allura liked to rest there when she was homesick.

He remembered the way she looked as Hunk held her. Hunk was in his body, so it was like he was watching her hug himself. She never seemed so small to him before - maybe she had grown shorter from all the emotion? He knew most of the time she liked to be about his size. He found himself at the entrance to the observation deck. Allura was seated near the vaulted window.

“Hey, Princess,” he greeted. She turned, providing a small smile. She hugged her knees to her chest. Her hair had been released from her battle-bun, and it spilled down her back like a misty waterfall. Her eyes glittered to rival the stars in the window. Allura seemed in her element so close to the galaxies outside, but Shiro knew that was not the case. He sat down beside her.

“Hello, Shiro.” 

He laid a hand on her shoulder supportively. “You okay?”

“I… I will be fine.” she said, gazing out the window again. “Coran used to tell stories to all the children in the castle. We would steal into bedrooms no one was using and build great forts with the blankets. He loved to go on about the history of the castle, but we could always convince him to tell us fairy tales - the Magic Byx was one of my favorites,” she said. “I always loved the way they used quintessence - they created a better world, just like I wanted.”

“We’re well on our way for that, Allura,” Shiro assured. 

“Yes, I suppose we are,” she smiled. “You have been away from Earth for a long time, Shiro, how do you handle the homesickness?” 

He thought for a moment. “I guess I just do my best to focus on what’s in front of me. I still think about home, and I miss it a lot, but for right now I just can’t turn away from Voltron.” They were quiet for a moment. She sighed. He wondered if he was even any help… She was the princess, after all. She was probably dealing with more stress than him. “I think you should talk to Lance, he’s been homesick for a while, and I think he’s started to figure it out.” 

She nodded. “Yes. He has been very homesick. Although, I imagine what he says will not be much different from you, Shiro,” she replied. Probably not, there’s just not much to be done about homesickness. He hoped sharing in the heartache would help.

Out of the blue, there was a shout from down the hall, then a “NEVERMIND”, and the castle was quiet again. Allura smiled. “Was that Hunk?” 

Shiro returned the expression. “Probably. Sounds like he’s got it figured out, though.” He knew, whatever it was, Shiro was also probably not equipped to handle it. He had yet to figure out many of the castle amenities. There was just too much saving-the-universe to be done. The mice scurried up from an unknown location, then settled on Allura’s knees and shoulders to tell her a story.

“Oh, I see,” she said amusedly. The mice squeaked in a language unknown to Shiro. He wondered what it was like to have such a direct psychic link to someone - he was somewhat connected to the paladins through their lions, but they still needed their helmets to communicate. She turned to Shiro. “The mice say that Hunk is using your Galra arm to cook,” she laughed. 

“Well.” He had no response to that. “I hope he’s careful, my arm is dangerous,” he decided. He turned towards the corridor worriedly. He had never used the Galra arm for anything but battles and gladiator fights; he didn’t even consider a practical use for it beyond retaining normal arm activities.

“He is fine, Shiro, Hunk knows his way around Galra technology by now.” Shiro sure hoped so. He had basically become the legal guardian of the paladins since they came to space (establishing routine, mediating fights, encouraging healthy habits), and with it came all the stress of parenting. He had been took care of Keith for six years before he left for Kerebos, he put in his time. He was only twenty-six! How did he keep finding himself in charge of disaster prone, child-minded people?

Allura had turned back to the window. “The stars really are beautiful,” she mused, interrupting Shiro’s inner monologue.

“Yeah.” Shiro found himself staring at Allura, mind suddenly clear. She was stunning, so beautiful. The stars couldn’t compare. He turned to the window before she could catch him. “Do you think we’ll find the quintessence spring out there?”

“I’m not sure. I think we have a chance, though,” she replied. Shiro agreed. They sat quietly, watching the stars twinkle as the Castle of Lions orbited. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Hunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos!! I really appreciate the feedback, gives me a good idea what to keep in when I'm editing haha
> 
> This chapter occurs during the same time frame as the last one.

After changing, Hunk was in the kitchen. He had stocked up on alien produce just for a night like this - when people felt out of sorts, food that wasn’t goo always made them feel better. He dug around the the cabinets for all the ingredients he needed for dinner. Coran liked to help him cook, but tonight Hunk had chased him off. Coran had a checkered past with successful family dinners, and Hunk didn’t trust him with it yet. He began mixing things together, taste testing for perfection. 

Keith decided to join him in the kitchen. He sat on the counter opposite Hunk, sipping on a pouch of space juice. 

“Dude, it is so  _ weird  _ seeing myself there while I know I’m here,” Hunk said. Keith shrugged. 

“It’s definitely strange. Lance winked at Allura when he came in earlier and I did  _ not  _ need to see myself doing that,” he replied. He sipped the juice pouch again. Hunk laughed, and continued to mash ingredients together. He brushed Shiro’s hair out of his eyes again. Jeez, Hunk gets wanting to keep an aesthetic or whatever, but he doesn’t know how Shiro can get anything done with hair tickling his eyes all the time. He huffed frustratedly.

“Here, you want this?” Keith asked. He held out Hunk’s usual orange headband. Hunk took it gratefully, tying the white forelock back. It now stuck up like the comb on a parrot. Keith gave a lopsided smile. 

“Thanks, dude.” Hunk grinned. He handed Keith a few long, orange-leaved vegetables that reminded him of corn - in fact, they were almost just like corn. Space was a weird place. “Here, can you shuck these? Keep the leaves,” he instructed. Keith complied.

“What do you need the leaves for?” he asked after a few ticks. He handed Hunk the first shucked ear. 

“I’m making tamales, gonna steam them in the corn leaves,” Hunk replied. He tossed the corn into a pot on the stove to boil. He looked at his hand - the cyborg one. “I wonder…” He leaned out into the hall. “Hey Shiro, how do you turn on -  _ OH THAT’S HOW OKAY NEVERMIND!” _ The prosthetic glowed and heated up at Hunk’s intent, sending a shock of quintessence through him. He came back into the kitchen, Keith watching him curiously from the counter. “Heh. Watch this,” Hunk said. He pulled the pot of water with corn off the burner, holding it from underneath with the robotic hand. The water boiled quickly.

Keith laughed. “Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” he said. He plopped the last ear of corn in the pot. Hunk set it back on the stove - he needed both hands to make the dough. “So, why tamales?” Keith asked, sipping on the space juice again.

“Lance’s family taught me how to make them when I visited once, you can put just about anything in them so I thought they’d transfer well into alien food,” he answered. Keith nodded. “Have you had tamales before, Keith?”

“Yeah, actually. There was this great Mexican restaurant in town that had some back in the desert. I’d stop in for dinner when I went on a grocery run,” Keith smiled. He gazed wistfully into the middle distance. Hunk gaped at him.

“You mean, you actually spent time in  _ civilization _ during that year you were kicked out of the Garrison?”

“Yeah? What, did you think I spent all that time alone in the desert?” He looked at Hunk quizzically.

“Dude, you lived in a shack by yourself and told us you felt a pull to search. That’s straight up hermit talk.” Hunk teased.

“Point taken,” Keith said. “But look at where we are now. Was I wrong to search?” He smirked playfully and Hunk laughed.

“Yeah, okay. So the energy was there. But you still seem like the kind of guy who would  _ choose  _ to spend all his time alone in the wilderness, it’s a surprise you visited a Mexican restaurant and a grocery store regularly.” 

“I  _ would  _ choose to spend all my time alone in the wilderness, but sadly I have a weakness for spicy food and Twinkies,” Keith laughed. They settled into a comfortable silence.

After the last tamale was wrapped and ready to be steamed, Keith piped up again. “It’s so funny seeing you cook in Shiro’s body,” he started.

“How so, Keith?” 

“Shiro used to make me lunch when i was younger - he practically raised me - but see, he could barely make macaroni and cheese. And it was almost always burnt,” he reminisced. 

“I’m sure he did his best,” Hunk laughed. 

“I would argue, but I remember him setting the kitchen on fire trying to boil ramen - that doesn’t happen to people who don’t care, it happens to human disasters. I think ‘his best’ was making sure we didn’t die of starvation,” Keith said. “‘If we die in some tragic accident, at least we won’t be hungry,’ he’d tell me, then he’d give me a KidCuisine meal and turn on PBS.” Keith straightened his posture and lowered his voice while imitating Shiro. 

Hunk stared at Keith for a moment. “One: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so much at once during our entire time on this ship; and Two: You’re telling me Shiro is a human disaster? He seems so put together - besides the PTSD, of course,” Hunk said. He looked curiously towards the hall, wondering how someone who accidently started kitchen fires could operate so calmly in crisis situations.

“Uh. Sorry?” Keith shrugged. He just didn’t know anyone on the ship well enough - he remembered annoying Shiro half to death with his constant chatter as a ten year old. It’s a wonder Shiro kept him around when he didn’t have to. “And yeah, Shiro’s really weird like that. If you dropped him into the apocalypse he’d probably figure out how to reverse it, no sweat, but he’s completely lost in a normal house.” Keith sat back, contemplating the peculiarity. “Maybe it was the Garrison. They probably drilled survival skills so hard there was no time to take Home Ec,” he said. 

Hunk had to smile at that. “Oh, definitely. I can’t tell you how to sew on a button but I know how to build a fire out of anything,” he agreed. “But seriously. We’ve had like two actual conversations, and one of those was just you talking me out of an anxiety attack,” Hunk said. “Why are you so talkative all-of-a-sudden?”

Keith shrugged again. He really didn’t know. He just felt… safe. He almost considered that maybe it was easy to trust Hunk in Shiro’s body, but before the thought could finish, a blaring timer went off.

“Oh! That’s the steamer! Can you go gather everybody up? These’ll be ready in a few minutes.” Hunk turned to the stove again. Keith hopped off the counter, heading towards the paladins’ usual chill spots. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Pidge

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this, Lance.” Pidge sat crosslegged on the bed in Lance’s room (Lance’s actual room, not Keith’s) while Lance sat on the floor below her. She had a face mask on, and she was braiding Lance’s hair (which was actually Keith’s hair). She could do it, that wasn’t the part she was grumpy about. It was the face mask - step three of Lance’s pre-bed routine, which apparently was an ordeal that took five times as much effort than anyone believed. He also had a face mask on, but she knew he really wanted to keep his actual face (not Keith’s) blemish-free.

“I can’t believe it either. I’m gonna have to teach Keith how to use puppydog eyes, apparently it’s completely irresistible with this face,” Lance joked. He winced as Pidge pulled a lock of hair tight.

“Why do  _ we _ want to give Keith whatever  _ he _ wants?” Pidge posed. As far as she could tell, Keith didn’t want a lot of things, but ninety-nine percent of the time what he  _ did  _ want was self-destructive and had a high chance of collateral damage. 

“Keith’s got a heart of gold, Pidge. I figure if he waits long enough to use puppydog eyes against us instead of charging in headfirst, it’s gonna be a noble cause.” A heart of gold, huh? That’s going in the blackmail folder.

Pidge considered. She shrugged. “I guess. I don’t think Keith thinks  _ anything _ through well enough to trick us with puppydog eyes, though,” she teased. “If anything, he’ll start using them to get forgiveness, and Shiro already favors him,” she laughed. “He’ll just start blaming us for being bad influences, we’ll be doomed!” 

“I think you mean _ you’ll _ be doomed,” Lance argued. “You never ask for forgiveness, you just fight people - you could learn from a smooth talker like me. Don’t you remember how many times I got you out of detention at the Garrison?”

“Ah, yes, that’s why I have a face mask on right now - the classic guilt trip,” she said dryly. “And okay, maybe I don’t have a silver tongue, but you  _ know _ Shiro couldn’t be mad at me.” She smirked. 

“Someday you’ll fuck up and then you’ll be sorry,” Lance insisted. “Happens to the best of us.”

“I suppose you’re  _ ‘the best of us’ _ ?” she snickered. 

“Yes, and Shiro is always getting on to me so I know it’s only a matter of time for you,” he retorted. She tied off his hair. He touched the plaited locks, pleased with how they felt. “Thanks, Pidge! I can see now,” he laughed.

“Sure thing, Lance.” She smiled, too. She could relate - Pidge had been wearing glasses (or contacts) since she was three years old, and now she had the resident sharpshooter’s eyes. They were fantastic. 

There was a knock at the door. Hunk’s voice (Keith) muffled through. “Dinner’s almost ready, you guys should come on to the dining hall.” They heard him lumber off, then Lance got up to throw away and rinse off the used face mask. Pidge tried to stand too, but knocked her head on the roof of the bunk. She grunted.

“You okay?” Lance poked his head out of the bathroom.

“M’fine,” she grumbled, rising slowly from the bed. Lance and his goddamn  _ lankiness. _ Ever since she got out of her lion she’s been knocking her head on stuff and tripping over her own feet. It’s ridiculous. She loved looking people in the eye, at eye level, but it was almost not worth all this extra pain… Almost.

She cleaned off her mask, and the pair travelled to the dining room.

“Don’t forget to put on my moisturizer before you go to sleep tonight, Pidge,” Lance reminded her as they strolled into the room. She rolled her eyes.

“Lance, what more could moisturizer possibly do - I feel like a freshly groomed poodle already.” She flopped into her chair, running a hand through her close-cropped hair. He gave a mock gasp. 

“I have dry skin, Pidge, I need all the hydration I can get to maintain this glowing complexion,” Lance said, gesturing at his face.

“If you glow any brighter you could be our space-police lights,” Keith commented as he walked in from the kitchen. Hunk’s headband wasn’t wrapped around his hair, so his bangs hung free - they looked very similar to his usual hairstyle, sans mullet. Pidge snickered.

“Thank you, Keith,” Lance said, pulling a space juice out of the kitchen cooler. “I totally agree. Unless you’re just being mean again...” Lance whipped around, eyebrows giving Spock a run for his money. Pidge cackled in her seat at Keith’s grin. He really knew how to push Lance’s buttons. 

“That depends,” he said. “Do you want to be our space-police lights? I bet Shiro would let you be the siren, then, too,” he suggested. He sat in his usual seat beside Pidge. She grinned maniacally, recalling Lance’s absolutely  _ awful  _ siren noise. 

Lance considered. “Okay, so you’re saying that if I shine bright enough, I could be our cop siren,” he clarified. Keith nodded.

“I bet we could set up a jumbotron on the front of the ship to show your face, Lance,” Pidge added. Lance’s stubbornness (especially when he thought he could make Keith look stupid and make himself look important) could be exploited for the  _ best _ fuckery. Lance nodded and grinned.

“Okay then, let’s get to making me  _ shine bright like a diamond _ ,” he said enthusiastically, singing the last line. Pidge and Keith laughed, watching Shiro and Allura come in behind Lance.

“Whatever you’re planning, the answer is no,” Shiro said. He seemed amused.

“But  _ Shiro _ ,” Lance pleaded. “How can we be space cops without  _ space sirens? _ ” He pouted. “This is an infringement on my rights as a defender of the universe!” Shiro raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, Shiro, we can’t be cops without sirens,” Pidge insisted. He looked around Lance. 

“Pidge, you have met  _ far _ too many undercover cops to actually believe that,” he replied. She grinned innocently. Keith looked at her quizzically.

“I’ll tell you later,” she whispered, grinning as Hunk rolled in with the food. Coran popped in, a little late due to some apparent catastrophe in the spa room (“We have a  _ spa _ room?” “You bet your bottom peckett!” What the hell is a peckett?) and helped Hunk pass out the tamales. 

“Thank you, my very best friend in the whole wide universe, these are DELICIOUS,” Lance said through a mouthful of food. Hunk blushed, Keith rolled his eyes. Pidge wondered if Keith actually couldn’t stand Lance’s mannerisms, or if eyerolls were his natural response to anything Lance said, regardless of how he felt about it. 

“Thanks, dude,” Hunk said. He smiled wide, glad that his food made people happy. 

“You really have outdone yourself, Hunk. What are these?” Allura asked. She, Shiro, Hunk, and Coran continued this conversation, which Pidge, frankly, found boring. She decided to focus on the two idiots beside her instead.

“What did you do to my hair?” Keith asked. He seemed genuinely curious about Lance’s french braid - Pidge was proud; excepting a few stray hairs, everything was pulled tightly into the braid.

“Pidge did it for me,” Lance answered. He rested his chin on his hand, mocking a southern accent. “Ain’t I purty, Keith?”

Keith scowled and blushed - Pidge snickered under her breath. “I don’t know how to answer that,” he said, then rose from his seat to reach for seconds. “Could you do that for me, Pidge? My hair is always getting in the way when I spar,” Keith requested.

“Sure, Keith,” she said without a second thought. 

Lance looked around Keith at Pidge. “What! It took like ten dobashes to convince you to do  my hair!” he complained.

“Well, Lance, that’s because I knew I could get a favor out of you,” she said matter-of-factly. “Don’t forget to wash my lion, by the way. She still has some garbage residue from the satellite we were stranded on and it’s been bugging her.” Pidge laughed internally, knowing that, in fact, her lion did not give a shit about getting dirty. 

“Treason! How dare - and to think I considered you a sister!” He leaned back in his chair, holding a hand to his heart.  “And you didn’t mention she was covered in dumpster juice, what the hell!”

“C’est la vie.” She shrugged. “And, Lance, don’t act so surprised, this has happened more than once.  I made you believe that I had photos of your middle school phase so you would do my english homework,” Pidge smirked.

“You were lying about that?” He leaned forward again, suddenly serious. She rolled her eyes.

“Where would I have even gotten those, Lance? We didn’t meet until the beginning of the school year.”

“That’s what I thought! But you’re some kind of tech wizard so excuse me for believing that you could find pictures of my - wait, no, not gonna say it,” he stopped his rant in its tracks. 

“Say what?” Keith asked. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Lance stood up quickly. 

“Um, yeah? That’s why I asked.” Keith looked to Pidge, who also had a puzzled expression. Although, he suspected she was plotting to discover whatever information Lance was hiding - Keith guessed if she really wanted to know she ought to bribe Hunk. Some carefully selected snacks could do the job.

Lance kept moving, ignoring Keith, and dropping his plate off into the kitchen. “I’m going to find the spa,” he announced. “ _ Don’t  _ try to follow me.” He directed a pointed glare at Keith. Keith rolled his eyes.

“You’ve got the spa to yourself, Lance.”

After a few curious looks from the other end of the table, normal conversation resumed. 

“Coran, I’m going to the bridge to work with the BLIP-Tech!” Pidge said hurriedly, rising from her seat. Keith got up to follow her.

“Not without supervision, you’re not!” Coran cried, scarfing down the last of his tamales. Hunk stood up. 

“Ah, don’t worry about it, Coran! I can rein her in,” he offered. Coran glanced at both of them before settling back in his seat.

“Alright, but if there’s a bolt out of place when I come back, pod cleaning duty for a movement!” he threatened. Pidge smiled, rushing out of the kitchen. Hunk and Keith hurried after her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many undercover cops has pidge met? is keith offended or amused at lance's southern accent? what is lance hiding? tune in next chapter to find out!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lion Collective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yeah so I was planning to write another chapter with the paladins but I got distracted by the lions and how they might be dealing with the body swap and it turned out to be pretty fun designing functions for the lions so here you go
> 
> Black - bold and underline  
> Yellow - italics  
> Blue - italics and underline  
> Green - underline  
> Red - bold

**Awaken, my Pride.**

One by one, the Voltron Lions lit up - albeit, groggily.

_ What’s up, oh Fearless Leader? _

**Yeah, I was having a great dream about my Paladin, Black, I want to go back to Sleep Mode.**

Images of Red’s Paladin flashed through the Lion Collective, the small hybrid was fighting side-by-side with Red against the Galra. When every enemy was dead, the Paladin turned around and patted Red’s nose. “Good kitty,” he praised.

_ Oh man, that  _ is _ a good dream, Red. _

The lions purred in agreement. 

**Yes. However, I feel we must do an Evaluation - our Paladins, Altea, and the Universe depend on our wellbeing. Green, Systems Report.**

The lions waited for the familiar full-body scan, but it never came. 

Uhhh… Ma’am? I can’t find my Data Collector…

A wave of panic flowed through the Lion Collective as Green showed Blue’s foreign Function Menu. The Lions assessed their cabins and Menus, looking for any familiar Weapons or Functions - apparently, only the pilot controls and the Comm System were consistent between Lions. 

_ Hey, listen to me.  _

The Lions paused at Yellow’s strong voice, waiting for his stability. 

_ Everything will be okay. Right, Blue? _

Voltron’s other Leg jumped in - reassuring and supporting, it’s what Yellow and Blue did best.

_ Right! My Paladin says they have a plan to switch us back! _

_ This is temporary. We’ll have our bodies back soon. Until then, we will have to learn basic maneuvers from each other.  _

**That will have to do. Thank you, Yellow. I would still like a Systems Report. Green, your Function Menu is a tangled mess, how do I Evaluate?**

Can you see the Leaflet labeled “Internal”? Follow that line until you reach “Lions”, and then select “Systems Evaluation” under each Lion’s personal Leaflet.

**… Okay.**

How do you think the Evaluations will feel? I think the Menu is attached to our bodies, but could we feel it in a different body?

**I am not sure, Green. We will have to find out.**

Black sent her affectionate Emotion of Green into the Lion Collective - the other Lions responded similarly, causing Green to express the Lion-equivalent of blushing. 

Black decided to Evaluate Red first. She could sense the hum of an Evaluation, but could not tell where it originated.

**I can’t feel anything.**

_ Wait! I can - must be directly tied to our bodies, then. _

**Okay.**

Black continued through all the Evaluations. Data poured into Black’s storage, but still appeared to be a mess of characters. She broadcasted the data into the Lion Collective, looking for an interpretation from Green.

Okay, so… Yellow. Black’s wings haven’t maintained full functionality - your Paladin repaired them, but some Quintessance Arteries have been broken and will take some time to reform, so don’t try to upgrade the wings in battle. Everyone else, we seem okay, nothing out of the ordinary. Besides the obvious mindswap.

**Alright, cool. I’m tired, can I go back to Sleep Mode now?**

There was an edge of irritation to her voice - what can you expect from a Lion who spent all last night teasing her Paladin with Blue? In the words of Blue’s Paladin, she needs her beauty sleep. 

**Wait. Learn the basics to Yellow’s Menu and explain yours to Blue first.**

She sighed, and then opened up the Menu to see how much she needed to learn to properly operate Yellow. His Menu was very straightforward, everything was labeled, everything was organized, but everything was also passcode protected. She spoke directly to Yellow.

**What is the passcode for all these Weapons?**

_ It’s not just one passcode, you need to be more specific. _

**Why do you have a ton of passcodes?**

_ You say that like you  _ want  _ the Galra to find all of our personal data. _

**This is ridiculous.**

_ I’m guessing you want the Shoulder Cannon and the Plasma Blasts. The passcodes are “upupdownleftright” and “leftleftdowndownleft”, respectively.  _

**Thanks, Yellow.**

She closed the private link and her Menu, then opened another to speak with Blue.  

_ Yeah, hey, Red, so, why are there only two options in your Menu? _

**That’s all I need.**

_ Okay, but how do you make anything happen?? All I see are “Fight” and “Help” and those are way too ambiguous.  _

**My Paladin knows what he needs, and as he thinks it I make it happen for him.**

_ What he needs? Like what? _

**“Destruction” - I pick Fight and something fiery happens. “Melt ice” - I pick Help and something fiery happens. “Tear apart” - I pick Fight and form a blade. “Help” - I pick Help and go pick him up. What manifests depends on how angry we are.**

_ That’s not gonna fly with my Paladin. He doesn’t get very angry - not like yours. _

**He can play defense then. I’ll just barrel through the enemies with Yellow’s armor. I can protect you both.**

Red purred as she imagined taking the brunt of an attack to protect her Pride. Blue scoffed.

_ Please, even with Yellow’s armor I wouldn’t let you go alone. My Paladin and I will figure it out. _

Blue sent Red an image of the two of them, fighting back to back against the Galra, a gorgeous whirlwind of fire and ice. 

_ This is what best friends are for, you know. _

_ What? I thought I was your best friend. _

_ You’re like my brother, Yellow. It’s our Paladins that are best friends. How did you even get in here? This is a private comm with Red. _

_ You guys should really use passcodes. _

**Goodnight, I’m leaving, sweet dreams. Yellow, quit hacking our conversations.**

It wasn’t Yellow, it was me. He just asked me to.

**I expected better from you, Green.**

Can’t fathom why, Red. You know how I like to show off my skillz.

_ This is actually pretty impressive. I thought we had been discrete. _

Not really. You guys have loud Emotions.

_ Like I said. Passcodes. _

**GOODNIGHT, LIONS.**

Night, Red!

_ Goodnight, see ya tomorrow. _

_ Sweet dreams, buddy. Enjoy your Sleep Mode! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so if you're looking for a better explanation of what the lion Menus are like:
> 
> Black has less of a menu and more of a command-prompt text box. So, the paladin decides what the best course of action would be, and Black receives that decision and turns it into a weapon - she can be very versatile. Functions are more internal and for the autonomy of the lion, so Black makes the decision/command herself.
> 
> Yellow has a very typical, computer-like menu that has options with submenus with submenus, but for each Function or Weapon, an arrowkeypad pops up. Yellow is very protective and very practical, and only takes action when his Paladin is sure.
> 
> Blue's menu is round and flowing, kind of like a prezi slideshow. She has options to choose from, but based on her suggestions and her Paladin's wants, the weapon is fluid and malleable. (Hence, her ice cannon to match Red's fire cannon when Lance expressed jealousy). 
> 
> Red's menu has two options - Help and Fight. She and her Paladin operate on instinct and emotion, so the Weapon or Function that manifests is directly related to the state of mind her Paladin is in. 
> 
> Green's menu is a mess. All of her options are thrown together in one combo box, with a few submenus concerning the other lions, and she has to dig through it like a pile of laundry to find what she's looking for - this works for her, though, because she knows where everything is. She has more options than the other lions to begin with anyways because she and her Paladin constantly provide upgrades.
> 
> The lions will probably return! They were fun to write, and I know I will have a chapter with the paladins in their lions, so be on the lookout for that :)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Next chapter will be the one I promised in the endnotes of the last chapter, promise.

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea how regular updates will be, but i will try my damndest to actually finish this!!  
> (this is for dorkysketchers, requires-too-much-effort, bh6-hamada-brothers, help-i-need-a-cool-username, and takana-kimore on tumblr!!! thank u for being interested haha)
> 
> ps i know this is short but the next one is longer promise (i have a few chapters written but i will post in moderation :P)


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